The promotion of my first book The Zen of Weight Loss has been very interesting. I’ve been studying books and blogs dedicated to the use of social media. It seems to be the way authors are reaching their audience. I don’t get it. I want to sell my book, but they tell me I’m not supposed to ask you to buy my book. You have to Like me and my book. Then, mysteriously, you will be moved to buy it — and read it. Isn’t the natural progression for you to read it and then Like it? Regardless many acknowledge the power in the Like button.
Consider for a moment how we have our very own Like button. We do! Most of us run through the day making decisions based on how we’ll be perceived by others. We want them to think we’re stellar! It starts as children when we want all the other kids to Like us. Does being Liked validate our worth? Does being Liked open opportunities? Perhaps it does, but does it determine our importance or desirability as a person? That’s something we need to find from within.
Self-Esteem. Self-Worth. Self-Talk. Self-Image. It goes deeper than skin. The self is our consciousness, it holds our moral compass, and is key to our motivation in life. The mistake we make is to seek acceptance or opinions from the world.
Everybody is going to have an opinion about everything. It’s a very unusual individual who looks at a person or situation and doesn’t pass judgment. Like, dislike. Good, bad. Fat, thin. Rather than think about asking everyone in the world let’s use the friends we have on Facebook. I have 306 friends. Imagine trying to wade through 306 opinions, and follow the advice of all 306 people. Impossible.
When we’re faced with a decision about the jeans we wear or the life choices we make consider the following: In making decisions there is a rapid fire succession of evaluations and conclusions before we get to the point where we ask for opinions. For the sake of this article you’ve already turned the options over in your mind.
You’ve thought about other ways to handle the issue.
You’ve thought about the consequences and weighed which is the best.
Along the way you are holding each thing up to your moral compass. The moral compass is a silent measuring rod — developed since you were born. It distinguishes right from wrong and is often colored by your belief system. From this definition alone you will see how you can get 306 separate opinions because the moral compass will be different for everyone. People who inflict unspeakable pain and violence have a different set of values. Their moral compass points in a different direction than yours. So, before you expose your Like button to every set of morals coming down the pike try to perform a 3 point check.
- Ask yourself if you or anyone else will be harmed as a result of this decision?
- Ask yourself if you can live with the decision you are about to make?
- Ask yourself if it will advance your forward momentum toward developing a deeper quality to your life?
I believe you will Like yourself and not need validation when you act in a manner where there is a moral compass you can accept — because it’s your own.